Lonely Days

Have you ever noticed how much we isolate ourselves with this crazy disease we call Lupus? I've been noticing lately that I'm spending a lot more time by myself because it is so hard for other people to relate to my situation and how I am feeling. This isn't their fault or mine, it's just the way things are sometimes. I find myself choosing a warm bath over going out for drinks with friends because that's means I'll get a good night's rest.

You make these choices and as with any choice, there are consequences. The consequence of these choices is loneliness. I'm talking about that deep feeling inside like no one understands you and that there aren't enough tears in the world to make it better. Am I the only one feeling this or do some of you understand what I'm talking about?

I'm not trying to sit around and feel sorry for myself because I know that doesn't accomplish anything. I just truly have a hard time relating to other people sometimes. They can go running if they feel like it or go for a weekend away without having to worry if they've packed all their medications with them. There are so many people out there who are taking their health for granted and it drives me crazy. At the same time, I know that I was exactly the same way before this miserable disease hit me.

I have to say that one of the things that has been helping lately has been the online support group meetings that we've started on the Molly's Fund website. It's really nice to be able to sit on my couch in front of my computer and talk to people who have the same problems I do. There is something about the anonymity of the meetings that makes you feel like you can say anything and it makes you realize there are other people out there like you. If anyone is interested, we are holding the meetings each Thursday night at 6 p.m. PST. They really can make a difference on those lonely days. I hope to see some of you there soon and maybe we can help each other from feeling too alone.

"People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges."
Joseph F. Newton